Rupert Murnane
'''Rupert Murnane '''is a resident of Lower Duck Pond. Early Life Rupert Murane was born on August 14th, 1953 in St. Magdalene's Hospital, Lower Duck Pond, to Janet Murnane (Mother) and Arnold Murnane (Father). As a child, his family would routinely stage special woodchipper events, starting Ruperts passion for woodchipping. Radio Career Rupert Murnane worked at Rustwood Radio Station between the years 1979-1983, leaving the job one year before the Radio Station was burnt down. Rupert's radio show, titled "Air-waves: The Music Says Hello", was very popular in the early years of it's conception between 1980-1982. Listening figures began to dwindle in the early months of 1983, a fact which Rupert attributes to the premiere of the hit show "Fraggle Rock". Low listening figures (at most there were ten people listening), combined with the topics Rupert was choosing to talk about (pros and cons of hunting endangered species, how to get away with public pooping), led to his involuntary leave from the station. The Duckponders In the years 1985-1987, Rupert Murnane played synth in a band called "The Duckponders". The band routinely tried to get into Live Aid, but was unsuccessful. The Duckponders never quite took off and split up when their lead singer quit. In 1988, Rupert Murnane appeared in a series of adverts for a company called "Cricket Music", advertising boomboxes. In 1989, Rupert appeared on children's show "Party Time!" with the rest of The Duckponders for a one off reunion event. While the camera was pointed at Rupert, he accidentally spun around too fast, and hit a child in the face. Rupert was vilified by the citizens of Lower Duck Pond, as well as The Duckponders who got a new synth player and did a successful tour of the US. Later Life In 1991, Rupert, inspired by the adverts he appeared in, tried to become an actor. He traveled to Hollywood where he hoped to find his big break, but it never came. Rupert traveled back to Lower Duck Pond and spiraled into a depression, associating himself with unsavory people. It was at this point he met Herbert Homely, who then introduced him to Barry Maneley. Rupert lived a private, personal life all through the 90s, until 2019 when he emerged on the Lower Duck Pond online message board. He began to write an online fortnightly report on events around the town, called "A Simple Town". The report ran for two editions before being stopped by Rupert in favor of running a rat farm. In the final edition, Rupert talks in detail about his recent trip to St. Magdalene's Hospital, in which he ate some bad shrimp and "felt what can only be described as a pain similar, if not equal to, a gunshot up the anus". Rupert sells ratmilk to the citizens of Lower Duck Pond, using Herbert Homely's rats to supply him with the milk. Unfortunately, Herbert's rats became too violent, and Rupert and Herbert had to "cull the herd" using flamethrowers. Around this time, Rupert also began a protest to remove the no fly zone from Rowley's Fudge Factory so that he could fly his hand-glider over the area. Eventually, CEO Rowley Fledgerson removed the no fly zone on his own accord, after Rupert began calling him in the middle of the night, making threats. Rupert Murnane caught more rats, and reopened his rat milk business. Later, he ran in the 2019 mayoral elections. He launched a smear campaign against his opponent, Cora Springsteen, claiming that she was "pooping all over town". Citizens came out with evidence that Rupert was the one who was defecating on peoples doorsteps, and Cora took Rupert to court for defamation. Personality Rupert Murnane has shown to care very little about personal hygiene or his general reputation. He has often been shown trying to make quick money. He doesn't refer to anyone as a friend, choosing to call them "acquaintances" instead. His friends are often unsavory people. They include, but are not limited to: * Herbert Homely * Barry Maneley * Terrance Schmitt Rupert has shown to have a very conservative view of the world. He has shown a distaste of tattoos, and has been quoted as saying "the only truth I believe in is the constitution". Rupert is very patriotic about his country and Lower Duck Pond in general. Hobbies Rupert Murnane's hobbies include, but are not limited to: * BBQ-ing - Every year, he hosts an annual BBQ, and has been shown to uninvite people that he gets into arguments with. * Hand-gliding (Every half-moon) - Rupert likes to hand-glide over Rowley's Fudge Factory every half-moon, however hasn't been able to ever since a no-fly zone was erected over the factory and the surrounding area. * Woodchipping - Rupert has owned a woodchipper for most of his life, and has stated that nothing excites him more than turning wood into chippings. He often invites himself to events and brings his woodchipper, much to the dismay of other citizens. * Milking Rats - Rupert has a Ratmilk business in which he uses the rats owned by Herbert Homely to harvest milk and sell it to the townsfolk of Lower Duck Pond. He also churns the Ratmilk into Ratcheese, but only on request. * Taking Gravy Baths - Rupert has stated that he likes to bathe in gravy, as he finds it's exfoliating. Barry Maneley often gives him "ox-cubes" to use in his baths. Category:Citizens